THE BOYS' BRIGADE

Can you meet quality people online? Absolutely! Online dating is a great way to meet people. However, you have to be careful. Either intentionally or because they have a distorted image of themselves, many people give misleading descriptions of themselves. Then when meeting in face-to-face, this can lead to disappointment. If you are prepared for this, you can make the most out of internet dating to meet wonderful people in your area or around the world.
Online dating has exactly the opposite challenge as meeting someone at a dance club. At a dance club, you can quickly see what they are like on the outside, but it is extremely difficult to tell what they are like on the inside and you probably will not know this until you meet them outside of the dance club. When meeting people online, if the person you are writing to is being honest and open, you will rapidly get to know what they are like on the inside. However, you will probably only see a few photos, which may be outdated or show them at their best. So, until you meet in person you will not really know what they are like on the outside.

The major mistake that many people make with meeting people online is that they put too much faith in the image that they create in their mind, they take the 'relationship' too seriously before the first face-to-face meeting takes place. The online world is different than the real world and different rules apply. In the real world, it is best to date one person at a time. In the online world, you are not dating. Until you meet, you do not really know the person you are communicating with. It is OK to communicate with several people at the same time. It is fine to get excited about a person you write to, but it is unwise to allow yourself to feel serious emotions or to discuss them, too soon.

The real relationship does not begin until after the first face-to-face meeting. Very often, the first meeting ends in disappointment. After a few such failures, people give up on this wonderful form of meeting people. However, imagine how many times you were disappointed with a person that you first met face-to-face, who turned out to be different inside than you initially believed. People you meet, either face-to-face or via the internet will disappoint you. But do not give up when this happens. Use these disappointments to learn and improve your skills at meeting people.
Ten Great Steps to Meet People Online

The first step to meet people online is to create an honest description of yourself. Go into detail about the type of person you are. Post a good, attractive, but honest photo made of you. Use your best photo in you advertisement. However, have five to ten other photos ready to send in the second or third email. Do NOT take the same approach as creating a resume for a job where you may exaggerate your skills and abilities. In an online advertisement, it is very important that the people you are writing to have a clear image of who you are and what you look like so that they are not surprised when they meet you. You don't want waste your time communicating with someone who will be later disappointed. Instead do your best to attract someone who is looking for the real you.

The second step to meet people online is to create a general introduction letter which you will adapt. It may go something like this:

Dear ___
I just read your advertisement and was very impressed by ______ . Let me take this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Alex and I am a high-school teacher. I really enjoy what I do because I get to work with and develop many talented people. The best part about my job is when I meet someone who I taught several years later and I see how they have grown up.

I am divorced, with two wonderful teenage children. They spend about half of their time with me. I love to travel, dance and be with friends and family. I enjoy keeping in good shape and I go to the gym three times per week. I don't smoke. The type of person I am looking for is confident, outgoing and likes to enjoy life. From your description, I felt that you may be like this because ____. Please review my ad and let me know what you think. I have several more photos that I would be happy to send to you. I look forward to hearing from you.
Alex
With this type of standard letter that you can easily modify, it does not take you a long time to make several contacts. However, it is very important to personalize your contact letter. People want to know what makes you interested in them.

The third step to meet people online is to send your letter to at least 10-20 people who interest you. If you can not find enough people in your local area, either increase your area or join more online dating sites. Not everyone you write to will respond, you are doing well if 25% to 40% write back. If you write to 20 people and 25% respond, you will be communicating with 5 people and that is a good number to start with.

The fourth step to meet people online is to be careful of your security. Until you get to know someone well do not give out your last name, home address, home phone number or company name. Avoid giving names of locations you frequent, such as your local church or neighborhood park. When the time comes to give a phone number, give only an unlisted mobile telephone number. Use an email address that does not have your last name in it. Caution: when you sign up for an email address, usually you are asked for your full name. Then when you send an email to someone, your full name appears to the recipient. Create a FRESH email address only for your online dating and when you sign up, do NOT give your last name in the application or give only an initial (the wrong initial).

The fifth step to meet people online is to write to everyone who writes to you. If you are not interested, tell them that honestly but gently. "Thank you for writing to me, but I am now communicating with several people who I am interested in, and I do not really feel it would be fair to include you now. But I do appreciate you contacting and I wish you the best of luck in finding happiness" 

The sixth step to meet people online is to communicate frequently with the people who write to you. Send your response within 1-2 days. If you do not have time to write so frequently, write to fewer people. It is impolite to wait a week to respond to an email and if you do this, you will quickly be forgotten.

The seventh step to meet people online is, within the first month, narrow your list from the initial contacts to 1-3 that you are most interested in. Make sure you get your most important questions answered. If looks are important to you, make sure you see enough recent photos so that you have good image of what the person looks like. This generally means you will need to see at least 5 but preferably 10 recent photos. If someone tells you that they do not have many recent photos, this should be a warning to you. Today, most everyone has access to a digital camera and can get photos easily and inexpensively made. Normal snap shots are better than professionally made photos, as these are often air-brushed and enhanced. Find out the person's height and weight. People can look taller, shorter, thinner or heavier in photos and you don't want to be surprised later on. Politely tell those that you are not interested in that you have begun to be more interested in someone else. Tell them that you believe that it is fair to them to be honest and you suggest to stop writing.

The eighth step to meet people online is to arrange telephone calls with the 2-3 people you are most interested in. The most important thing is to see if the conversation feels comfortable. Is the person as interesting on the phone as in the emails? If not, find out why. Some people are nervous on the telephone, so if it does not go well, try again a week later and see if it is better. Again, it is safer to use an unlisted mobile telephone number.

The ninth step to meet people online is to arrange a personal meeting. The first meeting should usually take place two or three months after the first email. Make the first meeting short and in a public place and preferably during daylight hours. A good location is to meet for coffee or lunch in a centrally located, busy, but calm restaurant. For security reasons, if possible avoid arriving with your own car. Park nearby and arrive on foot. Let at least one friend know where you are going, who you are meeting and when you expect to be home. Try to keep the first meeting to about one hour or so. Be honest at the end of the meeting and ask the person what they think. If you like the person let them know that you are pleased that they are in reality as wonderful as you thought they were before you met. Otherwise, let them know that they were different than the way you imagined them and you need to think over your meeting. This might be helpful for them when the meet the next person.

The tenth step to meet people online depends on the outcome of step nine. If you liked the person you met and they liked you, inform anyone else you are writing to that you have met someone you liked and you would like to take a break for a while. If there was no chemistry, continue to meet the other people you are communicating with or begin to send your contact letter to more people. In either case, follow up your meeting with an email thanking the person you met and letting them know how you felt. If you liked them, tell them again how nice it was that they were what you imagined them to be. If not, thank them and wish them luck!