Friends are very important in our lives and we need them as they need us. That is why we need to care as much as possible for our friends. We should treat friends with kindness and we should love our friends and make them happy as we can because we all need each other in this world. In most cases, the transition from acquaintance to friendship occurs gradually. We reach out to offer friendship by offering a potential friend caring, listening, talking, sharing, accepting, and affirming. It is really important you know that it takes time and effort to build a friendship. They are built slowly, slowly, slowly... Yet, nothing can add more to your life than having truly intimate friends. "Just friends" is a goal worth pursuing! Friendships can take up to three years to build! And building friendships is much the same for children as adults, but a bit quicker! No doubt, to some people, they might feel shy if they want to talk to someone and they habitually can’t figure out what to say, how to begin a conversation, or feel a sense of panic, paralysis or hopelessness about dealing with other people.
If you’re among friends, yet have trouble joining in and keeping up a conversation, you’re not enjoying your friends as much as you could.
If you’d like to get to know someone new, but can’t figure out how to introduce yourself and begin a conversation, shyness may be preventing you from finding love and friendship.
You can approach conquering shyness in several ways:
Through practice
Start small, with one understanding and kind friend, learning to carry on a conversation. Begin speaking up in safe places, such as your familiar church or among a group of close friends.
Internally
Pay attention to what goes on in your “inner conversation” when you want to speak up. Are you saying negative and critical things about yourself? Is this the source of your shyness? Ask yourself your own opinion frequently, so you’ll know what it is, and eventually can come up with it on the spot, in a conversational setting.
Through education and experience
Groups such as Toastmasters can teach you how to speak publicly, give presentations and work and speak to groups of people in general. Adult Children of Alcoholics can help you heal wounds from a dysfunctional family. Social Etiquette classes can help you acquire the social skills to help you feel more confident with people.
Through therapy
Shyness can be the result of low self-esteem, feeling that you’re somehow not worth others’ kind attention, or fear that you’ll be criticized. This can be the result of being subjected to criticism as a child, which wounded you emotionally. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Therapy are very helpful for these problems.
Shy people can learn how to be relaxed and open around others; how to enjoy getting to know new people, and how to present the best side of themselves to new friends. It is in this light that I would suggest that shy people can start by compliments. Praising friends is an excellent way for a shy person to make contact. When a shy person is walking to greet another person, he is usually thinking about himself and dreading the contact. If he walks toward the other person finding something to compliment, he will have a hard time keeping his attention on himself.
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