THE BOYS' BRIGADE

What do you think of some people? Some people have a habit of idealizing their partners or people who matter a lot to them. They put them on a pedestal or create such a wonderful image of the person they love or admire that they do not see any flows in them. Blinding ourselves from the reality of the hurting behavior of the person and creating a perfect illusion of him or her leads to tremendous emotional distress.
And by the time the reality hits them, they find themselves emotionally down or depressed. Such people create a great image of their spouse or anybody they value or admire and when the reality of the person does not match with the image they had created in their mind then they blame the person for ill treating them or betraying them. These people keep their internal eyes closed towards the people they idolize and they don't see the hints the other person keeps giving them consciously or unconsciously. Universe gives them lot of signals which are ignored by these people; these signals keep piling up until something unexpected happens and they finally come to know that they were taken undue advantage of their trust or innocence.
It is our responsibility to see people as they really are and not as we want them to be. People who are being idolized keep on doing things their way or keep taking advantage of the innocence of the person who trusts and admires them. They very well know that the person has great image of them and they continue to have their own way. The person who idolizes them does not see the abusive or ill treatments of these people as abusive behavior. Even if they see them they think things will improve some day or the person will change with time and they continue to ignore the obvious. As time goes by these people are left with nothing but regret on their part as to why they were not aware of the signals at the initial stage.
Idealizing somebody also leads into taking lots of responsibilities and doing things on behalf of the person who is being idolized; they become saviors of these people and think they are the one who can save the other people. They take up heavy responsibilities and continue to do a lot whether it is in business or in a personal life. When life's circumstances hit these people, they are left with guilt and shame as to how they could not know that the person was betraying them for years or misusing the facilities given to them in business or in general. The people they idealize do not stand by them in the times of difficulties, instead such people escape when they see the problem approaching this person who values them the most.
They feel used after knowing that this person had little or no such love or respect for them as they had. People who idealize, live in a false reality and for them communication becomes problematic because it rolls around the ideology they have in their mind which does not match with the reality of the person being idolized. They think so highly of the person so that he or she becomes flawless in every way. It takes a huge toll on their self-esteem when they finally remove their rose-colored glasses and meet with the reality,
Such people do the mistake of creating an illusion around the person they admire or create an elusive image of the person they trust. When somehow they accept the reality of the other person then they blame them for being dishonest or they even blame God for not guiding them or not showing the reality of the person on time. They continue to rehash their STORY but little do they realize that it was their own illusion that was not letting them see the reality of the person or people involved.
Trusting somebody who is genuine is different then trusting everybody with rose-colored glasses. Idealizing each other positively in a relationship is one thing and ignoring the abusive behavior of a cheating partner by creating a positive image of them is another thing.
This does not mean you distrust an innocent, this should not even make you suspicious or turn you into a detective but let your eyes and mind be wide open so that you do not avoid the obvious traits in family or friends who keep abusing you or your trust in some or the other way. Ask yourself why are you not seeing the obvious? Either you are seeing it and ignoring the signals because you are insecure or you have low self-esteem. Confront your deep fears and it will be easier for you to face the issues upfront. If you cannot see the obvious then take somebody's help, they might give you wonderful insights or different perspectives and save your life.