While men think about it almost twice as much in day, women are quickly gaining ground.
Researchers asked college-aged men and women to fill out a questionnaire detailing their attitudes towards sex, and then they were given a device to help them tally how often they thought about sex during the day. Men were found to think about sex around 19 times a day, while women thought about sex around 10 times a day. Hence, while men did spend slightly more time engaging in sexual thoughts, women were not far behind.
Interestingly, researchers also found that incidence of sexual thoughts were most highly governed by one’s own sexual belief system. In other words, people who had anxiety, shame, or guilt around their sexuality were less likely to have sexual thoughts, while people who were comfortable and secure in their sexuality were more likely to have sexual thoughts. (Or, perhaps they were more willing to confess these sexual thoughts to the researchers). Furthermore, it was found that women who had a higher need for social acceptance were also less likely to have sexual thoughts, presumably because that old chestnut ‘nice girls don’t have sex’ still seems to haunt our society.
These findings have much to teach us about our current sexual landscape. While young men still lead the pack when it comes to sexual thoughts, it is interesting to see young women gaining on them. Clearly, sexuality and sexual desires are not limited only to the male of the species, and women have just as many fantasies and sexual impulses as men do.
Still, it is sad that some women still cut these sexual thoughts off at the pass in order to be “good girls.” Not only are these women denying an essential part of who they are, but they are doing a disservice to their own sexual response and to their own relationships. When you shut off your sexual side and refuse to think about sex, you will have a very hard time ‘flipping the switch’ when you do enter a sexual situation. You won’t know your own body or your own responses, and you won’t be able to relax and enjoy the moment.
And, while many women might have felt embarrassed to give into sexual thoughts, most were comfortable confessing their thoughts about food. While women thought about food only 10 times a day on average, they thought about food 15 times a day. Maybe instead of starting the latest fad diet on New Year’s Day, women can simply revamp their frame of minds. For example, instead of thinking about a slice of chocolate cake when you are bored or frustrated, why not think of exciting sexual fantasy to brighten up the day?
By generating more sexual thoughts throughout the day and creating a mental landscape that celebrates and welcomes sex, you will be much more likely to enjoy sex with your partner and to initiate sexual contact in an organic and spontaneous way. That’s way better than any diet!
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