We often take listening for granted, never realizing what it means to really listen to a friend.
Watch someone really listening to another person. He makes eye contact and focuses on the other person. He listens with his eyes as well as his ears. While listening, he nods or makes attentive noises from time-to-time. He is a skilled, attentive listener. The person he is listening to feels a sense of communication.
You can grow more friends with your ears and with your eyes than with your mouth.
After your next conversation, test your ability to benefit from listening to that conversation. Analyze and ask yourself:
- What did I learn from my friend?
- What did I learn about my friend?
- Did anyone interrupt?
- What questions should I have asked?
- What questions should I have answered more thoroughly?
- Was I absolutely certain I understood everything?
- Did I ask for clarification?
- Did I practice acknowledgment?
- Did my friend practice acknowledgment?
- Were both parties attending?
- Was the conversation balanced?
- Did anyone keep changing the subject?
- Did anyone get angry?
- Did anyone appear sad?
- Was everyone paying attention?
- What will I do different in my next conversation?
- The ability to listen is a skill that can be improved with use. This skill can
and will improve your friendships.
Repeat:
You can grow more friends with your ears and with your eyes than with your mouth.
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