What's the best sex position? That answer is different for every couple. "Every two people fit together differently," says Sandra Leiblum, PhD, a sex therapist and director of psychological services at the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness in Bedminster. "Experiment and see what works, but don't get stuck too early with any one position because over time that will get boring."
Better Sex: The Missionary Position
It's a simple sex position: The woman lies on her back with her legs spread and her knees bent slightly. The man lies between her legs and guides his penis into her vagina, supporting his body weight with his arms or elbows.
The problem with this sexual position is that the missionary position is not as good at delivering pleasure to women. The man's pelvis does stimulate the clitoris in this position, and it offers great intimacy through face-to-face contact. But, the angle of the penis does not allow for deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot (a spot on the front wall of the vagina, believed by some experts to be a stimulus for orgasm in women). Some women also complain that this sex position doesn't provide enough clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.
While the missionary position is a popular sexual position in the United States, it is not that popular worldwide. Alfred Kinsey's groundbreaking studies on sexuality in the mid-20th century found that as many as 70 percent of U.S. men reported using just this sex position, to the exclusion of all others.
"In most cultures, it is not the most used position," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, professor emerita of Rutgers University in New Jersey and secretary general of the World Association for Sexual Health. "Cultures would laugh when they saw the missionaries having sex in that position. That's why it was called the missionary position."
Better Sex: Other Sex Positions
If you are looking to spice up your sexual experience and achieve better sex, try some of the following sex positions.
Woman on top: "Woman on top is better for women who want to be in control and guide the stimulation," Dr. Leiblum says. The angle of the penis allows for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation, and the male partner can contribute to the woman's pleasure by using his fingers to rub her clitoris. Plus, men are very responsive to visual stimuli and this sex position allows the man to lie back and watch his female partner.
In this sex position the man lies on his back, and the woman faces him and kneels, straddling his pelvis and guiding his penis into her vagina. She can sit up or lie down on him. She also can move in an up-and-down motion or roll her hips around.
Rear Entry: Also referred to as "doggy style," this is the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. It gives the man freedom to thrust his pelvis hard and fast, and allows him to caress much of the woman's body. The position also allows for good G-spot stimulation.
The woman kneels on all fours, supporting herself with hands and knees. The man crouches behind her and enters her vagina from the rear.
One drawback: Some women complain that this sex position is too impersonal because there's no face-to-face contact.
Side by Side: This position allows for slow and romantic sex. The partners are facing each other and can kiss and caress each other during lovemaking. The sex position is relaxing, and doesn't require a lot of stamina from either person. It's also good for people who are overweight or obese. "If one or both of the partners is extremely heavy, side to side may be better so that no one partner has to bear the weight," Leiblum says. There is good clitoral stimulation in this position, but penetration is limited.
During side by side sex, the man and woman lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman lifts her top leg so the man can insert his penis. She can then wrap the leg around his waist or lay it across his top leg.
If you’ve been with the same partner for some time, using the same sexual position, maybe it’s time for a little variety, which, it’s been said, is the spice of life.
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