THE BOYS' BRIGADE

So, you’re interested in a guy from work or he’s interested in you. You’d like to date him, but you work together, so it’s complicated. What do you do?

Dating is hard enough, but add working for the same boss into the mix and now you’ve got a whole new dimension. You now have more things to consider beyond just whether or not you like him, because your work happiness and success lie in the balance.
If you’re considering becoming involved with a guy at the office, you really need to ask yourself these questions first:

Does Your Office Policy Prevent It?

This is the very first thing you have to consider. If you decide to date him and your work has a policy against it, it doesn’t matter how much you like him, you’re both going to be out of a job if decide to pursue any sort of relationship.
Now, don’t sit there and think that you can do it and no one will find out. Do you listen to office gossip? You would be creating a story so juicy that your coworkers are going to have to wear a bib when they talk about it because they’re going to be drooling all over.
If your work has a written policy, review it. If you never got a copy, get your hands on one and find out because ignorance is no defense when it comes to most employers. If you have to, ask. Sure, it may be a bit embarrassing to go to your boss and inquire, but it’s a whole lot more embarrassing to get ushered out because you just got let go.

What are Your Positions Relative to One Another?

If work gives you the thumbs up and says that they could care less if you ran away and married each other, you still need to consider your positions relative to each other. Are you and he equal as far as the company is concerned, or is one of you above the other?
It may not seem to matter much right now, but it will down the road. If things work out and you get promoted, people might say was because you’re sleeping with a superior. No one’s going to care that you’ve been working sixteen hour days, six days a week. They’ll completely bypass the point that you deserved it and focus solely on the fact that you got it because you’re good in bed.
On the flip side, if it doesn’t work out and one of you has a higher rank, what happens if the other is passed by for a promotion or has to be disciplined? Then, again, it won’t matter what was legitimately done wrong because it will turn into a case of retribution, or love gone wrong.

How Much Contact Do You Have With Each Other on a Daily Basis?

Another consideration is how much you have to deal with each other. Are you two in completely separate parts of the company or are you joined at the hip while you’re working because you’re both assigned on the same project?
If you’re in different areas, it may not be as big a deal. If you pass him in the hall or see him go to his car at night, but other than that you have no contact, then whether it works or not, at least he’s not in your face all day long.
However, if you’re in a position where you have to be able to work together, communicate and cooperate to get things done, you need to think twice. Even if things work out and you get along well, what happens if you disagree on part of the project? Are you able to separate work from your personal life?
And, worst-case scenario, he turned out to be a slug who used you and then lost interest. Then what? How effective do you think your work relationship will be then?

Can You Handle Being the Center of Your Coworker’s Gossip?

If you pursue a relationship with the guy in the office next door, you need to have thick skin. Be prepared to be the center of office gossip. It doesn’t matter if you and he have never even kissed. Rumors spread quickly and you could likely be “doing the deed” in the minds of others well before it actually happens.
You may have people avoid you because they think you’re wrong. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you may have people befriend you just to get the lates dirt.
And, there’s something different about a relationship when coworkers know both of you. They’ll say things they wouldn’t ordinarily say because they think they have the right. Even if they don’t, you better be prepared to hear it.

How Will It Be if It Doesn’t Work Out?

Above all, you have to ask yourself what happens if things don’t work out. Regardless of any of the questions you’ve already asked yourself, can you handle it maturely in the event that the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye? And, just as importantly, is he mature enough?
If you’re both sensible adults who can let go of relationships that just aren’t meant to be, then you’ll have relatively few problems in the event that you decide you shouldn’t be together. But, if love makes either of you do crazy things, one of you may have huge problems on your hands.
How do you know? If you’ve ever been dumped by a guy and responded by stalking him or crying uncontrollably every time you saw him, an office romance gone bad may present a problem for you. Its one thing to be crazy on your own time, but it’s completely different to put your job in jeopardy because you’re hurt.
The same goes Do you know anything about his past behaviors when his relationships haven’t worked out? It’s better to find out before it happens than after.

How Will Things Be if It Does Work Out?

If you’ve made it past all of these hurdles and still want to date him, you’re probably wondering what happens if it does work out? What if you miss out on the love of your life just because he happens to work in the next cubicle?
No one but you can answer that. That’s the one thing about love. It defies logic. It always has and always will. So, do you try it? It’s up to you at this point. But, if it doesn’t work out and you have problems, you can’t say you haven’t been warned.