Hopefully once you know why, changing your status will be a piece of cake.
I know you may be great at seducing a guy. You can easily make him like you. For most women, the problem isn’t getting, but keeping the right guy.
Any girl can go out there, dress hot, get drunk and hook up with some dude in a club – the question is, will he call you the day after? Will he stick around after the second date, or will he run for his life?
That’s why this post is here. To help you prevent making the mistakes most single women do. These mistakes are the things women usually do in the early phases of a relationship – and then there’s the breaking point from “we just started dating” and “we’re in a serious, committed relationship.”
That breaking point is the moment where you either get dumped or carry on with love. The tips below should help you survive until that moment, so that breaking up never crosses his mind.
You don’t have a boyfriend because…
1. You Don’t Want One
Not wanting a boyfriend is the simplest reason why you don’t have one.You like being single, you like your freedom, and you don’t believe in love.
You believe in the “I’m born alone, I die alone” mantra, and that’s totally fine.
The problem is when you don’t make a clear decision. You feel bad that you are single, and believe you should have a boyfriend, but you don’t actually want one at all.
Or, you do want one, you are just too proud and don’t want to admit it.
Either way, be honest with yourself. It may be possible that deep down, you don’t want a guy around right now.
2. You are Insane
Nobody likes psycho chicks.
3. You are a Slut
Guys love sluts. They just don’t want to be in a relationship with one.If they see that you’re hooking up with every dude in town, and it’s known that you are “easy” – then it’s just not “cool” to be with a girl that has a bad reputation.
Sure, they want to take you to bed, once, twice, but nothing serious after that.
Your reputation is everything. So guard it with your life!
When you sleep with a guy, he’ll tell his friends about it (we love to brag), so if you just want to have fun – do it in a different area code.
4. You are a Gold Digger
On the other hand, most regular (not-loaded) guys can’t stand you spending their hard earned cash. If you expect him to pay for everything, order expensive drinks and want him to take you to luxurious restaurants – he may like you, but his wallet just can’t keep up with the it.
Either find yourself a rich boyfriend that doesn’t care and stay as you are, or tone down your appetite.
5. You are Self-centered
Me, me, me, me, meee. The universe does not revolve around you. Other people have needs and wants too, you’re not the only one.Having a boyfriend means being partners, supporting each other and helping each other grow. A relationship is about growth, not crushing the life out of the other person.
Sure, some guys will let you walk all over them – but do you really want a boyfriend like that? Think about his needs for a minute, not just your own. The more self-centered you are, the less likely you’ll keep Mr. Right around, ‘cause Mr. Right has choices!
6. You are Selfish
Giving is the name of the game. Keeping a guy (that you really like) requires you to focus on giving, not taking.The more you give, the more you’ll get back. Stop with the “what’s in it for me?” way of thinking. The girls that keep guys in love are the ones that have a pleasing personality. Not born with it? Develop it. Trust me, it’ll pay off in the long run.
7. You Party too Hard
Sure, you may meet the love of your life in a bar, but how often does that happen?
A girl that regularly gets wasted, a couple of times per week, dances on tables and loves getting attention isn’t the type guys want to marry.
Be a lady, not a club-whore. Sure, it’s important that you’re “out there” and approachable, but if you hook up with a guy and you still continue going out all the time, your guy might have a hard time trusting you.
8. You are Cold and Unemotional
If he’s affectionate, sweet and loving… and you are the complete opposite, it’ll be hard for him to open up further if he gets no love in return.Don’t be afraid to open yourself up to new people. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past and you think that “all guys are pigs” – but still, give love a chance.
Give the new guy a clean slate.
9. You Don’t Take Care of Yourself
You need to stay the woman he fell in love with in the first place – or better than that – but never worse.Most women take care of themselves while they are single and looking for Mr. Right, once they find him, just a month or two later, they get too comfortable, and then they stop taking care of themselves.
Get better, not worse.
10. You Drink Beer
You’ll burp, fart and smell bad. This may be my opinion, but millions of guys out there are with me on it. Most guys want a lady, not Homer Simpson (duh!).
11. You are a Feminist
You don’t have a boyfriend because you are a hardcore feminist.Women’s rights, equality and all that…
Okay, we’ve heard it a million times, you want your RIGHTS! And that’s fine, until you cross the line and become freaking insane with it.
Where’s the world when women were women, when a lady was a lady.
Now you want to be a construction worker, and you hate all men around you. You blame us for all your life problems. You would never do something “degrading” in bed and you love being in charge.
That’s all nice, but most guys can’t stand it.
Sure, some love to get beaten up and tortured, but that’s a small percentage of guys.
Of course you don’t have a boyfriend when you think a blow job is for “sluts.”
12. You can’t Stop Nagging
It’s all love from the beginning, then you figure he likes you and suddenly you feel like you own him.Then you take out the big guns.
Why did you do this, why did you do that, why didn’t you call me, tell me, text me, invite me? Why did you leave your socks on the couch? Why, why, why?
What… the … hell are you doing?
This is usually a breaking point, where the guy either decides to give up and just live with your nagging, or he dumps you (if he’s man enough).
Nagging is just being negative. It won’t get you anywhere, except single, again.
Find a smarter way to motivate your boyfriend to do as you wish. (yes, there are more effective ways to get what you want).
13. You are Negative
Drama, drama, drama.
Oh… my… God!
Shut up and stop it with the pointless drama.
You don’t have to be negative all the time and you don’t have to spread that horrible energy around… You’ll never have a boyfriend that loves you if you can’t look at the bright side of life, and him too.
Change your focus. Think about what you like about your boyfriend, and life.
14. You Want to Change Him
Sure, it might be nice stuff like… maybe he’s fat, and you want to help him lose weight, or he’s smoking and you want to help him quit.Those are all nice things that he’ll appreciate later on.
The problem happens when you want to change who he is.
You like this guy, you just hooked up – but now you want to change this, and that, and that other thing, and take away the things he loves and lives by.
Guys want to break free from behavior like this.
He is who he is, let him be and help him grow – don’t force your way of thinking or desires onto him, especially not if you just got together. Stop trying to “fix” him.
Change others by changing yourself first.
15. You are Bossy
He is your boyfriend, not your employee.Calm down, woman.
We may live in a liberal world, but most men still can’t handle it when a woman messes with their ego, raises her voice and bosses him around like a dog.
Treat him with respect and you’ll get the same in return.
Men often break up with women that don’t respect or value them enough.
Why would he waste his time and energy with you, if he can find a girlfriend that will love and respect him for who he is?
16. You are too Demanding
He is your boyfriend, but he’s not your property.When a relationship starts feeling like you’re getting choked, guys run for freedom.
Calling him 24/7 and expecting him to spend all of his free time with you can be too demanding.
Give him some “alone time” – and space.
He’ll call you when he wants to be with you. Give him that option and don’t put him under pressure. He’ll brag to his friends that he has a “normal” girlfriend that isn’t insane or possessive.
17. You are too Picky
Brad Pitt is taken. George Clooney is out of your league.
So you need to settle with your realistic options. Lower your standards a bit. I mean, nobody’s perfect, not even you.
You can wait for Prince Charming all your life, but maybe he never comes along. Find a guy you like – give him a chance and get to know him better. Maybe as time goes by, you end up loving him way more than you expected.
So, give people, and yourself, a chance. You can’t find true love if you’re not willing to take risks.
18. You Have too Many Problems
No guy likes to start a relationship full of problems.If he constantly has to solve your problems, it might seem to him that it’s just not worth it.
Be a big girl and handle your own stuff, if he offers you help – great, but don’t expect him to be your superhero from start.
19. You Hang out with Ugly Chicks
Yep, your girlfriends push away guys that might like you.You go out in a pack. Your ugly girlfriends are jealous if someone approaches you, they drag you away (“you came with me, you have to go home with me!”) and block any guy that comes near you.
They may be your girlfriends, but some of them don’t really want you to be happy.
20. You have Stupid Rules
I don’t kiss on the first date. No sex until xyz time-limit. I don’t call, I make him wait until I text back, I don’t show interest… rules, rules, rules.Forget about the rules and be spontaneous for a minute.
Your rules won’t get you far. They’re meant to be broken once Mr. Right comes along. Other than that, some guys just won’t take your crap longer than a week, then they’re out of there.
21. You are Hard to Get, But not Really Worth the Price You Sell Yourself for
You act like you’re the shit. And maybe you are, to a certain extent. But maybe you’re just full of yourself.Sure, you might be hot, but it’s not all about looks. Even if you look like a diva, after some time, guys get over your hot looks and your personality gets into focus.
Some girls are too easy, some are too hard to get – but not worth the effort. A guy may chase after you for some time – then finally when you end up in bed, you aren’t as good as he thought you’d be.
And that’s the end of it. You have to deliver what you sell. Either be easier, or be worth it.
22. You Suck in Bed
If you blow his mind away in the bedroom, he’ll want to come back for more, more and more – for a long, long time.
You can be smart, funny, look amazing, and have a great personality – but if you are worse in bed than his ex girlfriends, he might not want to stay with you.
Guys judge you according to their ex girlfriends. You don’t have to be the best in the world, just better than what he experienced in the past.
Get your freak on, or he’ll look for satisfaction elsewhere.
Not only that… but, if you use sex as a tool to manipulate with a new guy, if you view it as something that you give him as a “gift” – then you’re seriously out of your mind and that’s why you can’t keep a guy. Sex should be bonding, not something he should be thankful for.
23. You Don’t Give Oral Sex
If you’re one of those women that feel like throwing up when she thinks of oral – then that’s why you don’t have a boyfriend.If you don’t give your best to please him, some other woman will, and if he can choose between no blowjobs and mind-blowing oral, he’ll choose the latter one, I assure you.
24. You Don’t Have Time for a Boyfriend
Maybe you don’t have a boyfriend because you’re just too busy with your life, work and other stuff.You find a guy, but you can’t devote him nearly enough time how much you need to develop a good relationship, so he leaves.
Well… either make time for him, or accept the fact that all you’re left with are casual flings and fun.
Or – find a guy that’s as busy and as career driven as you are. He won’t complain about your lack of time and attention.
25. You are Looking for Your ex Boyfriend
You don’t have a boyfriend because you are constantly looking for your ex.Maybe he left you, or things just didn’t work out – but you still love the guy and you want him back – so now whenever you go on a date, you are comparing the new guy to your ex.
You want this new guy to be like your ex. But he isn’t.
So you never call him back.
26. You are Fat
Then you wonder why you’re still single. There’s someone for everyone out there, and some guys won’t care if you’re overweight.
But if you want to keep a cool guy that has choices, you better get off your butt and hit the gym.
Looking good and taking care of yourself is a prerequisite for finding higher quality guys.
The better you look, the easier it will be to attract, and keep him.
27. You Don’t Shave
We’re not in the 70’s. Some guys may like a bush down there, but most prefer when you get a bikini wax.I know it hurts, and that looking good costs money, time and energy – but that’s life.
Don’t blame us. Blame porn and advertising for our high expectations of women.
28. You are Insecure
Nobody likes insecure chicks. You get too jealous, you don’t like yourself, you don’t want to try anything new… it’s just hard to be with a woman that drains the energy out of you emotionally, and that often comes with insecurity.Learn to love yourself and build your self-confidence so that you are the light of the room – then people love being around you… this is the easiest way to find a great boyfriend – just believe you can and you will.
29. You’re not out There
I mean… how do you expect to find the love of your life when you don’t leave your house?Maybe it’ll be the mailman, or the pool guy?
I don’t think so.
You need to leave your comfort zone. Get out there and be approachable. Don’t be in a pack of girls when you go out. The guy you like, give him a look, then a smile, if he smiles back – cool.
He needs to know that you won’t reject him. Then, if you’re with a bunch of girlfriends, try to be alone for a minute, go to the toilet (alone), so that he can approach you.
You need to get out there and be open to meeting new people.
30. You are too Easy
Okay, it may feel like you should – but what does that tell him about you?
What if you do that this easily with other guys too? Don’t be too easy, or too hard to get.
Sleep with him when it feels right to do so, but still – have some standards.
Give it some time. Let him be tempted and work for you – at least a bit. This way a guy values you more and it’s more likely that he’ll want to stay with you than if you have sex the day you meet.
Things that come easy go easy. This doesn’t mean you should be too hard to get – just find a balance. Make him wonder.
31. You Want a Guy That’s out of Your League
Listen, I’m sure you’re beautiful, in your own way, but the guys you want may not like you as much as you like them. You need to get in where you fit in.Find the best guy you can within your league.
You may find a guy that is amazing – but his friends expect you to be better or at least similar to his ex – he has peer pressure to justify why he’s with you.
Sure, you should be confident. You can get what you want, but still – it’s better if you’re with a guy you like that adores you, than if you’re with a guy you like that just thinks you’re “OK.”
To hell with OK! – You should be with a guy that truly loves and appreciates you for who you are, not some dude that thinks you’re “nice.”
So instead of looking for guys that you just aren’t compatible with, guys that may be used to supermodels, find a guy that cares for you from start. Also, keep in mind that his ex may be gorgeous, but she’s his ex for a reason – so you might still have a chance.
32. You Don’t Have a Life
It’s hard to have a boyfriend if you don’t have a life apart from your relationship with this guy.It’s just too much pressure. When you hook up with a guy – don’t talk about kids, commitment, marriage and stuff like that.
Give him his space and freedom.
Have your own stuff that you need to do. Hobbies, yoga, work, girlfriends – whatever.
Bring him into your life, but don’t expect him to be the center of your life overnight. It’s too much of a responsibility. He needs to know that you can live without him and that you are not too dependent on him, or anyone else. This will draw him closer to you in the long run.
33. You are too Lazy, Princess
You expect him to do everything, be everything, decide on everything and so on. You’re too lazy to please his needs.
Why would any guy be with you? You may be used to getting what you want, when you want it – but often guys just don’t want to deal with your crap and then they leave.
34. You Look Bitchy
It’s hard to find a boyfriend when nobody approaches you (except drunk guys).When you go out – You dress up too much so nobody approaches you.
The most beautiful girls get approached the least. Why? Because guys get intimidated by your looks. You don’t seem approachable when you are too hot, then guys think that you are out of their league.
You look so good that they think you’re just “a bitch” that’s full of herself, so nobody talks to you.
Dress nice, but don’t overdress. Look good, but not too good.
35. You Don’t Give Him His Freedom
Give him his space and freedom so he feels like he’s in charge.
He’ll brag to his friends how “normal” his new girlfriend is.
Be normal and you’ll stay together. Don’t g0 psycho. Don’t interrogate him.
“Who are you with, why, when, how?” and similar questions can only be annoying. Especially if you ask him this while he’s with his friends, then he’ll appear like a lame sissy.
Respect his “guy time” and don’t try to chain him up.
The easiest way you can keep a guy is by letting him go.
If you give your best to control him, he’ll always feel the need to break free, which leads to hate, not love.
36. You Never Take Initiative or Make Decisions
You have too many expectations. Let’s do this, let’s do that. “What are we doing tonight?” – you expect him to make all the decisions, and come up with magic tricks to keep things interesting for you. That’s a lot of pressure.From time to time, it’s OK if you take charge and make decisions. Let him breathe.
37. You are Desperate
Trying too hard never helps. I mean, sure, you might be single – but it’s better to be single and sane, than aggressively searching for a guy, as if you can’t live without one.You need to be able to live with yourself, before you can share your life with someone else.
Accept your singledom.
Go out there with an open mind and a positive attitude – then the guy you’ll fall in love with will come along when you least expect him to.
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