How often do you argue in a relationship? Do you avoid it?
You are going to
get into it with your significant other every so often. It’s no fun for
either party, but as a woman, I’m willing to concede that it’s even
less fun for men. Why? Because women can express their emotions like
it’s nobody’s business. And guys? Not so much.And
since we already have the upper hand, I thought it only fair to share a
few tricks to help you emerge victorious from battle… or at least with
fewer scars than usual.
Don’t Tell Her to “Relax”
There is nothing more inflammatory than the r-word. Especially
when it’s flippantly thrown in the face of a woman who is already on
her last good nerve. And since it’s impossible to rationally discuss an
issue with a red-eyed, fire-breathing dragon (which is pretty much
what I turn into whenever a guy says that word to me), I urge you to
avoid this expression and any variation of it -- settle down, take it
easy, etc. -- at all costs.
Talk In the First Person
Instead of saying something like, “You don’t appreciate me,” try,
“I feel like I’m not being heard when …” or “I don’t feel appreciated
when …” It may seem like a small thing, but sentences that start with
“I” sound much less accusatory than ones that start with “you.” And
when your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she’s being verbally attacked,
she’ll be more open to hearing what you have to say. And that may even
lead to her apologizing. Maybe.
Leave Your Friends’ Opinions Out of It
Every woman’s greatest fear in life, aside from dating an axe
murderer and the possibility that her daily non-fat latte actually
contains lard, is getting stuck with the “crazy” label. So even if all
of your buddies think that she’s being totally ridiculous for expecting
you to do something like text her while you’re hanging out with them,
she doesn’t need to know they think she’s nuts. A) They’re your
friends, so of course they’re going to have your back. B) Telling her
will only make her feel awkward around the friends you name the next
time she sees them. And C) It’s guaranteed to drag your argument into
overtime -- and that severely damages your chances of coming out on top.
Don’t Make Empty Threats
The United States of America does not respond kindly to threats,
and neither does your girlfriend. So if you give her an ultimatum --
“Unfriend your ex and quit following him on Twitter or we’re so done”
-- you better be prepared to follow through. Women are nasty mental
ninjas who will call your bluff, which will either force you to follow
through and leave, or back down with your balls in hand.
Fib If You Need To
File this tip away, because if you don’t need it soon, you’ll
definitely find use for it down the road. When a woman gives you the
stink-eye and hisses, “You don’t even know what you did, do you?” Lie.
Nod your head, and ask her if she wants to talk about it, or if she
needs time to cool off. It’s like those “Need a moment?” Twix
commercials -- she’ll be so caught off guard by your response that
she’ll falter, giving you a few precious seconds to rack your brain,
identify your offense, and get a stronger game plan in order.
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